How to want what youve got in a world of infinite choice

How to want what youve got in a world of infinite choiceHow to want what youve got in a world of infinite choicePsychologistBarry Schwartzis best known for his immensely popular TED Talk and his bookThe Paradox of Choice. He recently joinedRyan Hawk, host ofThe Learning Leader Show, to discuss what having too much of a good thing means for us, and how to stay engaged inanever-changing, digitized world.This conversation has been edited and condensed. To listen to Barry and Ryans full conversation,click here.RyanMy question to lead us off is about sustaining excellence. Through your studies and work- when you look at people who have sustained excellence over an extended period of time, what are some of the common characteristics they all seem to possess?BarryI would say the secret, if there is one, to sustained excellence is that people really care about what theyre trying to achieve. Theyre working on something that they think matters. Ive observed that the other kinds of benefits tha t come with success tend to wear out. Once youve gotten all the promotions there are to get, and you are making all the money there is to make- what keeps you going? If youre doing it to be successful, you will plateau.If youre doing it because theres a new challenge that needs to be met, a new idea that needs to be explored, then the challenges just keep coming. The people I know who have been excellent throughout their careers are people who are doing their work for the right reasons.Once youve gotten all the promotions there are to get, and you are making all the money there is to make- what keeps you going?RyanThat reminds me a little bit of Liz Wiseman and her bookRookie Smarts.She basically says that once you feel like youve gotten it figured out, then its time to stretch. The people who have been able to sustain excellence over an extended period of time are constantly in a state of stretching themselves to learn, to grow, to improve. Have you noticed that with people? BarryY es. You want to make sure that you have a workplace environment where people are continually given the opportunity to stretch, to do new things, to take on challenges, to demonstrate mastery. As a leader, I think you want to tischset an environment where that sort of thing is encouraged rather than forced on people. One way to stay engaged is to face problems today that are different from the problems you faced yesterday.In my own case, when you teach in a university setting, every time you teach the course, its a new course, even if its got the same name. You can change the syllabus, you can change the content, you can do all kinds of things to make it different. Or, you can take out the folder of yellowed notes and just tell the same stories, year after year. In my experience the people who remained great in the classroom are people who, each time they teach the class, its still like the first time.One way to stay engaged is to face problems today that are different from the probl ems you faced yesterday.RyanIn July of 2005, you got up on a TED stage and gave an amazing TED Talk titled The Paradox of Choice, back before TED welches a huge thing. Now, your talk has over nine million views. Can you distill some of the key points of what you mean by the paradox of choice?BarryMost Western societies have operated with the assumption that the more choice people have, the better off they are. They are more likely to get what they want, they have more freedom, more autonomy, more control over their lives. We should take every opportunity to enhance choice, but its not without limit. When you go from having no choice to some choice, your life is better. But when you go from having some choice to essentially infinite choice, weird things start to happen. That was completely neglected by economists, by psychologists, by people in business, everybody.Instead of being liberated by all this choice, you get paralyzed. So you cant pull the trigger, and you choose nothing. Y ou make worse decisions, and even when you make good decisions, youre less satisfied. So my book,The Paradox of Choice, laid out this evidence that choice is a good thing, but there can be too much of a good thing. The book struck a nerve, and the TED Talk struck a nerve, because everybody is experiencing this- people cant put their finger on why theyre so indecisive.Since the book came out things have only gotten worse, thanks to social media and apps like Tinder. Its not just about choosing cereal and toothpaste- its now about choosing romantic partners. Young people are faced with what seems to be an unlimited set of options, and I think its actually creating enormous difficulties for people as they try to develop serious romantic relationships.Instead of being liberated by all this choice, you get paralyzed.RyanHow do you think the combination of the ease and frequency of use of a phone impacts the development of people in general?BarryThats a hard one to answer, partly because people change. At the moment theres a lot of bad consequences associated with this ease of communication, because one of the things thats happening is that what communication means has changed. Its become more superficial. People are thinking less and talking more. Theyre unbelievably distracted. The result is that you can talk to a lot of people about very trivial things, but its harder to talk to a few people about things that require real thought, real intimacy, real extended conversation.Thats the way things are now. But people adapt, so its entirely possible that people who grew up with all of this will find a way to make this ease of communication into something that actually fosters real communication, instead of the superficiality we have now.People are thinking less and talking more.RyanAre you familiar with Daniel Kahnemans work on system one vs. system two?BarryVery much so. Ive been teaching it for twenty-five years. RyanSystem one is the brains fast and automatic, intui tive approach. System two is the minds slower analytical mode where reason dominates. Im curious from your perspective, the potential relationship withThe Paradox of Choiceand some of Kahnemans work. Does having an overwhelming number of choices cause our minds to shift from one to two? Is that responsible for paralysis by analysis?BarryHaving an overwhelming number of choices is certainly responsible for paralysis by analysis. But what I dont know is whether lots of options actually shifts people from the intuitive mode to the more analytic mode. It might, but sometimes what happens when you go to the grocery store and you see a hundred different kinds of cereal is you just buy the same thing you bought last week. So you rely entirely on habit. You dont think at all and I think that may be what gets us through our shopping trips. If we didnt do that wed spend our whole lives at the grocery. That suggests the decision domain becomes so overwhelming that you just shut down all your a nalytical tools.So I dont know. Its an interesting question.RyanYouve stated the secret to happiness is low expectations. Can you expand on that?BarryThats a little bit of an overstatement, but that is what I said. Having lots of options only raises the expectations. If jeans come in three hundred styles, then one of them ought to be perfect. If they only come in two styles, then only an idiot expects perfection. So when we evaluate things characteristically, we ask, Is this as good as I expected it to be? And if you have high expectations, the answer is almost always going to be no. So if you have lower expectations, then often the answer to the question will be yes. The world of unlimited choice has generated ridiculously, unrealistically high expectations, and the result is that were almost always disappointed.The world of unlimited choice has generated ridiculously, unrealistically high expectations, and the result is that were almost always disappointed.RyanEverybody wants to b e more happy. What are some specific, tactile ways that you have implemented that simplistic but true statement into your daily life to make you happier?BarryOne is I try to manage expectations. When I encounter something really extraordinary, I deliberately make that kind of experience rare, not common, so that I will continue to appreciate it. I often have a glass of wine at dinner, and I get great pleasure out of a good fifteen-dollar bottle of wine. If I started routinely drinking thirty-dollar wine, initially Id get even more pleasure out of it, but then it would just become the wine I drink. Then Id need fifty-dollar wine. So I deliberately drink good wine infrequently, and in that way continue to appreciate how good it is.The other thing I do is choose things that are good enough, and not worry about whether theyre the best. You dont even know what the best is in most categories, but you sure as hell dont need to find it. When you read consumer reports telling you that there are200 washing machines, and all but three of them are fine, you dont need to pick the best of the197 remaining fine washing machines. Just pick one.An environment of unlimited choice encourages us to find the best- this is also an enemy of satisfaction. Its easy to say, but its a little harder to put into practice if thats not your style. But I think its worth learning how to be satisfied with good enough.Choose things that are good enough, and do not worry about whether theyre the best. You dont even know what the best is in most categories, but you sure as hell dont need to find it.RyanHow does that relate to relationships?BarryTo say that people looking for life partners should just choose one who is good enough is like going against the religion of verlottern society. But I have a feeling that a lot of perfectly good relationships dont get developed because both parties or at least one party is continually looking over the other persons shoulder in case somebody better might be coming by.Ready for more big ideas like this? Join the Next Big Idea Club todayThis article first appeared on Heleo.